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[LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 9:10 am
by Solork Tan
Sol is out of balance. Almost like a drunkard needing to trust his legs to take him home, he finds himself in the grotto.
"She doesn't want me" There's pain and sadness in the voice, but stripping down out of his armor makes him feel cleaner somehow
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 10:19 am
by Solork Tan
The Gank splashes some water on his face to clear his thoughts, seating himself on the meditation space. The gank straightens himself up and rummages through his pack and holds up a blood red crystal.
"A year. A year I have been looking for answers under every rock, scouring every text for clues, thinking of every possible solution to redeem this crystal. And she believes that the moment I hear about caves full of the things, I'm going to drop it like bag of flaming poodoo?"
Sol pockets the crystal again. "A year. And you think that the crystal is the operative word in the quest and not redemption? You said you didn't know it was possible. Were you referring to the crystal...or to me?"
Sol's shoulder's slump, his piece said, and acceptance washing over him. "If my teacher does not believe that, then you have indeed taught me all that you could. Again, I thank you for that much. But I know who I am. I know what I want to be. And I know that I have the conviction to see it through."
The student of Cartess closes his eyes. A moment later, a Guardian opens them.
"I have work to do"
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 3:24 pm
by Zimrzala Skalirz
This time, Zimrzala's call out to the Gank came in the most pedestrian form possible, in stark contrast contrast to their previous conversations.
A beep in his comlink.
Hey Solork. How are you, friend? I'd like to see you again... when you feel like it. Just... here to talk, if you want. Calm and balance be with us, friend.".
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 3:33 pm
by Solork Tan
Sol blinks at the page. "Hah!" The laugh feels strange, but the conservation just feels so...ordinary. Something ordinary in the midst of things so strange and deep that he had to constantly strain to comprehend it. In spite of everything, Sol feels a smile tug at his lips.
"Thank you Zimerzala. I needed...time and space. I've had a moment. I could use a bit of company, if you are offering."
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 7:08 pm
by Zimrzala Skalirz
Solork Tan wrote: ↑Tue May 18, 2021 3:33 pm
Sol blinks at the page. "Hah!" The laugh feels strange, but the conservation just feels so...ordinary. Something ordinary in the midst of things so strange and deep that he had to constantly strain to comprehend it. In spite of everything, Sol feels a smile tug at his lips.
"Thank you Zimerzala. I needed...time and space. I've had a moment. I could use a bit of company, if you are offering."
Time and space are good - sometimes needed. Good to know you found them. And... I may be - was heading outside the city for a breath of fresh air. Where can I meet you?
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 7:36 pm
by Solork Tan
I was at the meditation spot. I can head out and meet you.
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 7:53 pm
by Zimrzala Skalirz
Solork Tan wrote: ↑Tue May 18, 2021 7:36 pm
I was at the meditation spot. I can head out and meet you.
I can meet you there if you'd like. Shouldn't take me too long now I know the way. Or would you rather go somewhere else, or just go for a walk?"
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 9:06 pm
by Solork Tan
Sol looks around. The Grotto is serene, but he's been spending a lot of time there. It was a new chapter in his life, seeing something new would he helpful.
"I think a walk would be for the best. I'll meet you outside"
The Gank gathers his things and begins to stroll
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Wed May 19, 2021 11:18 am
by Zimrzala Skalirz
Solork Tan wrote: ↑Tue May 18, 2021 9:06 pm
Sol looks around. The Grotto is serene, but he's been spending a lot of time there. It was a new chapter in his life, seeing something new would he helpful.
"I think a walk would be for the best. I'll meet you outside"
The Gank gathers his things and begins to stroll
Another message. 'A walk it is then. On my way. Should be there in 10 or 15'.
It takes 13, and the now familiar robes figure appears in the distance, pulling back her hood as she comes closer, her pace a bit faster than her usual.
She offers Sol a friendly smile when she is close enough for it to be seen. "Evening friend. Where to?", she asks in a calm, passing voice, almost as if this were a day like any other in the lives of two friends.
If anything is to be brought up, best Sol be the one to do it, she thought. Sometimes time, company and a stroll are more important than words.
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Wed May 19, 2021 2:45 pm
by Solork Tan
"Anywhere, I suppose. I think it's just best to keep moving for the moment" The Gank doesn't say anything for a while, simply plodding along.
"Well...that was unexpected" He finally says, words vague, but he doubts there is any question as to his meaning.
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Thu May 20, 2021 11:22 pm
by Zimrzala Skalirz
Solork Tan wrote: ↑Wed May 19, 2021 2:45 pm
"Anywhere, I suppose. I think it's just best to keep moving for the moment" The Gank doesn't say anything for a while, simply plodding along.
"Well...that was unexpected" He finally says, words vague, but he doubts there is any question as to his meaning.
She nods at him and walks by his side silently. When he finally breaks the silence, she nods again, looking at his eyes for a short moment before shifting her eyes to the path again.
"It was. I was wondering about it throughout the day as well, to be honest. Another look at him. "Have you... Come to terms with it, somehow?"
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Thu May 20, 2021 11:30 pm
by Solork Tan
The Gank looks over the horizon and sighs. "Am I happy about it? Have I accepted her argument? No. Have I accepted her decision... Yes. Yes I have.*
Solork's boots scuff on pebbles, kicking one down the path. "She didn't want to train me in the first place. Imagine that, finding a Jedi and them wanting nothing to do with you. But still, me and Leah wore her down. She got me to stop running away from my past, to grapple with it...but I don't think she ever forgot that i was a killer"
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Fri May 21, 2021 11:34 pm
by Zimrzala Skalirz
Solork Tan wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 11:30 pm
The Gank looks over the horizon and sighs. "Am I happy about it? Have I accepted her argument? No. Have I accepted her decision... Yes. Yes I have.*
Solork's boots scuff on pebbles, kicking one down the path. "She didn't want to train me in the first place. Imagine that, finding a Jedi and them wanting nothing to do with you. But still, me and Leah wore her down. She got me to stop running away from my past, to grapple with it...but I don't think she ever forgot that i was a killer"
She walks beside him letting him dictate rhythm and direction. This is about his path, after all - so it made sense that it would be so literally as well as metaphorically.
She nods at his words - both that he accepted her decision, if not her argument, and that he and another of his companions had worn Cartess down. When he mentions being a killer, though, she looks at his eyes for a moment. Her expression was mostly neutral, but a detailed look would see some compassion and maybe worry deep in her blue eyes.
"I see...", was all she said for some ten or twenty steps more. Then, looking ahead, she spoke again.
"Do you think she should forget, Solork? And... Do you think you will?"
The words might seem harsh, but her tone is kind - those of a friend, not one aiming to criticise.
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Sat May 22, 2021 12:01 am
by Solork Tan
"I don't forget!" The Gank's words come a bit harsh, but his tone softens "Have you ever thought back to a time when someone was being intolerable, and give them a piece of your mind, only to realize that they were going through their own crisis? That you had been mired in your own world that you never considered anothers? And then, when you realize your mistake, the horror over that choice. Imagine that instead, lives had hung in the balance. That incalculable suffering had rippled out from you that you are only now aware of. How would you even begin to make amends?"
Sol stopped in his tracks. "That path led me to become the kind of person to save others from people like me. Perhaps save some of them too. So, perhaps some caution was warranted, but I had spent years working on myself before I even met Cartess. A year full time as her student. A year of her seeing me practice what I promised. And the moment I revealed I knew something that she hadn't wanted to tell me... something I didn't know was forbidden, mind you and- " Sol snaps his fingers
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 25, 2021 4:32 am
by Zimrzala Skalirz
Solork Tan wrote: ↑Sat May 22, 2021 12:01 am
"I don't forget!" The Gank's words come a bit harsh, but his tone softens "Have you ever thought back to a time when someone was being intolerable, and give them a piece of your mind, only to realize that they were going through their own crisis? That you had been mired in your own world that you never considered anothers? And then, when you realize your mistake, the horror over that choice. Imagine that instead, lives had hung in the balance. That incalculable suffering had rippled out from you that you are only now aware of. How would you even
begin to make amends?"
Sol stopped in his tracks. "That path led me to become the kind of person to save others from people like me. Perhaps save some of them too. So, perhaps some caution was warranted, but I had spent years working on myself before I even met Cartess. A year full time as her student. A year of her seeing me practice what I promised. And the moment I revealed I knew something that she hadn't wanted to tell me... something I didn't know was forbidden, mind you and- " Sol snaps his fingers
This time, the Mikkian is very quiet, and serious. She hears his words without making a sound, her eyes on the path, but her mind clearly with Sol's. When he stops mid-sentence at the end, she looks at him and nods, still quiet. Almost a minute goes by with both in silence before she says something again.
"I can only imagine the pain and anger you must have felt at yourself, Sol. And... becoming a guardian? From what you say, it seems to me like you've at least started to find a path for it. To make amends."
She blinks slowly. "Finding our own path is never easy - this Sh'sei Sh'tari often told me. I... wonder if that was part of what Cartess felt. That she couldn't guide you, because you should find your own path."
She seems thoughtful for a moment, her eyes in the distance. She starts whispering something, very weakly...
"Either that, or..."
She shakes her head. "Well... perhaps we can tread at least some more steps together, Sol. I... think I could learn quite a bit from you, at least."
OOC:
Sorry for the disappearance... trying to get back to at least some threads so we can set up some new ones soon -_-'
Re: [LE D4] What next? (Closed)
Posted: Tue May 25, 2021 10:24 am
by Solork Tan
Zimrzala Skalirz wrote: ↑Tue May 25, 2021 4:32 am
This time, the Mikkian is very quiet, and serious. She hears his words without making a sound, her eyes on the path, but her mind clearly with Sol's. When he stops mid-sentence at the end, she looks at him and nods, still quiet. Almost a minute goes by with both in silence before she says something again.
"I can only imagine the pain and anger you must have felt at yourself, Sol. And... becoming a guardian? From what you say, it seems to me like you've at least started to find a path for it. To make amends."
She blinks slowly. "Finding our own path is never easy - this Sh'sei Sh'tari often told me. I... wonder if that was part of what Cartess felt. That she couldn't guide you, because you should find your own path."
She seems thoughtful for a moment, her eyes in the distance. She starts whispering something, very weakly...
"Either that, or..."
She shakes her head. "Well... perhaps we can tread at least some more steps together, Sol. I... think I could learn quite a bit from you, at least."
OOC:
Sorry for the disappearance... trying to get back to at least some threads so we can set up some new ones soon -_-'
The Gank lets out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. He hadn't been rejected again.
"I'd like that a great deal. I have been thinking a lot about what you said about balance. About how I could truly know peace with holding back so much of myself. There's something dark on this planet Zimrzala. I believe that I must steel myself, and then face it. And then, I hope, I will find balance."
Beneath his mask, the Gank smiles "Thank you. I don't think I would have had even an idea of a different route ahead, had I not met you"