(D9, EE) Folly of Scholars (Expecting)

[Torr Po]

After the meetings he found himself a little nook to drop his bag in and sit for a spell. On top of tomorrow's foreboding he also felt something else. Something close...

He'd felt it for two days now and soon he'd need to deal with it. He was unbalanced, and some old ghosts were plaguing him. How, when, and where would he be able to meditate? The hideout was still to loud. Ironically maybe the bar would do, who's gonna be out and about with this storm gathering? To say nothing of the patrols.

He folded his legs and straightened his back. Tried to drift. Distraction, again. Still, nothing. "I give up."

He pulls out his flask and takes a swig. Crinkling his nose at the now sour mixture.

[Zimrzala Skalirz]

After the meetings he found himself a little nook to drop his bag in and sit for a spell. On top of tomorrow's foreboding he also felt something else. Something close...

He'd felt it for two days now and soon he'd need to deal with it. He was unbalanced, and some old ghosts were plaguing him. How, when, and where would he be able to meditate? The hideout was still to loud. Ironically maybe the bar would do, who's gonna be out and about with this storm gathering? To say nothing of the patrols.

He folded his legs and straightened his back. Tried to drift. Distraction, again. Still, nothing. "I give up."

He pulls out his flask and takes a swig. Crinkling his nose at the now sour mixture.

A Mikkian was also still at the Hangout after both meetings, with much still on her head from all that had happened in the few days prior and even more bound to happen in the following day.

She knew full mind wouldn't do, but sometimes it was hard to let it all go.

Looking around, she saw a cat person who seemed to be struggling with their own thoughts as well. Not a Bothan... had she seen any like that one before? She didn't think so.

Still, as she heard him say out loud that he was giving up, she approached him, with slow, quiet steps. "Hard to keep a quiet mind with this storm, eh, friend?", she says in a soft voice with a small smile.

[Torr Po]

He looks up at the sudden voice and smiles. "The trick is to find the eye." He chuckles. "Torr Po, how does the evening find you?" He shifts his belongings around, "Please sit, join me if you have time."

[Zimrzala Skalirz]

He looks up at the sudden voice and smiles. "The trick is to find the eye." He chuckles. "Torr Po, how does the evening find you?" He shifts his belongings around, "Please sit, join me if you have time."

She gives him a thin smile with a slight hint of a grin as she looks straight at his eyes. "If it's as easy as that", she says softly, then walks the remaining distance to sit close to him. "... thoughtful, I guess. There's much at stake tomorrow". The honest is starkly honest and direct, and he can see it seems to help her clear her mind somewhat. "Zimrzala", she then says extending her hands to greet him. "I... Think I saw you a couple days ago. At the clinic underground.", she adds with a nod. "But... What about you? Don't mean to pry if you don't want to talk about it, but ... I think I sensed more clouds than those outside over your head."

[Torr Po]

She gives him a thin smile with a slight hint of a grin as she looks straight at his eyes. "If it's as easy as that", she says softly, then walks the remaining distance to sit close to him. "... thoughtful, I guess. There's much at stake tomorrow". The honest is starkly honest and direct, and he can see it seems to help her clear her mind somewhat. "Zimrzala", she then says extending her hands to greet him. "I... Think I saw you a couple days ago. At the clinic underground.", she adds with a nod. "But... What about you? Don't mean to pry if you don't want to talk about it, but ... I think I sensed more clouds than those outside over your head."

"Indeed." He nods thoughtfully. "It's an honor to meet you Zimrzala." He reciprocates the gesture. "Ohh? Well yes I was. Matter of fact that was the busiest day I've had in months." He scoffs. "But," he says returning to the present, "yes, tonight the eye is illusive, and the storm insurmountable." He sits back and sighs. "This place reminds me of my home is all. Or rather my home before it was reduced to ash. Which is why I'm glad to have found my way here, to the resistance. It is why during the meeting I spoke as I did."

If you are able to listen through the force, you will detect a strong cold sense of guilt and grief.

"You see, I've seen this happen before. A ragtag band that throws off the shackles of tyranny and oppression. Speeches are made, the valiant stand and fight, are summarily slaughtered, then the crack down comes and things get so much worse." His words are paced and his knuckles tighten in recollection, "Before the end the people will suffer. What we've seen in the lower city, is but the prelude. And without sufficient preparation - we don't stand a chance."

[Zimrzala Skalirz]

"Indeed." He nods thoughtfully. "It's an honor to meet you Zimrzala." He reciprocates the gesture. "Ohh? Well yes I was. Matter of fact that was the busiest day I've had in months." He scoffs. "But," he says returning to the present, "yes, tonight the eye is illusive, and the storm insurmountable." He sits back and sighs. "This place reminds me of my home is all. Or rather my home before it was reduced to ash. Which is why I'm glad to have found my way here, to the resistance. It is why during the meeting I spoke as I did."

If you are able to listen through the force, you will detect a strong cold sense of guilt and grief.

"You see, I've seen this happen before. A ragtag band that throws off the shackles of tyranny and oppression. Speeches are made, the valiant stand and fight, are summarily slaughtered, then the crack down comes and things get so much worse." His words are paced and his knuckles tighten in recollection, "Before the end the people will suffer. What we've seen in the lower city, is but the prelude. And without sufficient preparation - we don't stand a chance."

OOC:
Sorry for the long delay, yesterday was a monster of a day IRL. I'll come back and answer this today, and I think we can bring the thread to a logical close while the board's still open!

[Torr Po]

OOC:
Sorry for the long delay, yesterday was a monster of a day IRL. I'll come back and answer this today, and I think we can bring the thread to a logical close while the board's still open!

(OOC - I understand. It doesn't help that our posting times seem to be 12 hours opposite. But it's enough that we met. In the future installment we can wax philosophical about our character's (I'm betting) opposing views on the force.)

[Zimrzala Skalirz]

"Indeed." He nods thoughtfully. "It's an honor to meet you Zimrzala." He reciprocates the gesture. "Ohh? Well yes I was. Matter of fact that was the busiest day I've had in months." He scoffs. "But," he says returning to the present, "yes, tonight the eye is illusive, and the storm insurmountable." He sits back and sighs. "This place reminds me of my home is all. Or rather my home before it was reduced to ash. Which is why I'm glad to have found my way here, to the resistance. It is why during the meeting I spoke as I did."

If you are able to listen through the force, you will detect a strong cold sense of guilt and grief.

"You see, I've seen this happen before. A ragtag band that throws off the shackles of tyranny and oppression. Speeches are made, the valiant stand and fight, are summarily slaughtered, then the crack down comes and things get so much worse." His words are paced and his knuckles tighten in recollection, "Before the end the people will suffer. What we've seen in the lower city, is but the prelude. And without sufficient preparation - we don't stand a chance."

The Mikkian nods, her face serious and showing she feels some of the pain that seems to emanate from him.

"I... I'm sorry, Torr. I understand some of your fear, although my story is different, and .... " her eyes shift around a bit as she seems to struggle to find a word to convey the feelings. "Less... tragic. In some ways", she finally says, but doesn't seem entirely comfortable with it.

She does feel some of that guilt and grief... and trying to focus herself on a feeling of calm, she tries to extend some of it to him.

"It's... hard, when we feel we may be reliving something traumatic. But things don't have to repeat themselves the same way, do they?"

She gives him a thin, tentative smile. "I do agree we need to be prepared. And it's clear there will be greater pressure coming from the empire. We've seen it happen already, since we started helping out here. But would people suffer less without hope?"

OOC:
What time zone are you in? I'm at GMT -3, but I do post at odd times now and then. Just been around less often since last week, as I noted But yeah, we can get deeper into philosophical debates later. Still should be able to at least get the thread to... something while the board is open.

[Torr Po]

"Hmmm," he grins thoughtfully while observing her. Noting the effort she places on the measured responses.

"Hope." He smiles, "Hope is always a good thing. Hope will see us through the darkness and into the light for sure. It is the ware we peddle, without which there are no new agitators." He chuckles then shifts his weight. "Were you reading my body language? Or are you indeed FORCE sensitive?"

__________
OOC: I am EST 3rd shift. -5 + 12 hahaha, I sleep from 3pm to 9pm. Get one post in. Then don't get a chance to post again until I get to work at 11pm.

[Zimrzala Skalirz]

"Hmmm," he grins thoughtfully while observing her. Noting the effort she places on the measured responses.

"Hope." He smiles, "Hope is always a good thing. Hope will see us through the darkness and into the light for sure. It is the ware we peddle, without which there are no new agitators." He chuckles then shifts his weight. "Were you reading my body language? Or are you indeed FORCE sensitive?"

__________
OOC: I am EST 3rd shift. -5 + 12 hahaha, I sleep from 3pm to 9pm. Get one post in. Then don't get a chance to post again until I get to work at 11pm.

She nods at the comments about hope, but then looks at him quizzically at the next words. "People are so fond of that term, it seems!", she says, grinning slightly. "I notice threads. Links. Between people, plants, animals. What surrounds is. I see connections, and I understand... some of them. Learned to touch on them here and there, draw on them to keep focused when it seemed hard. Learned to find peace in them... and expand it."

She smiles, looking away as she seems to remember things. "I didn't think of that name much, before, though. It was mostly a word from my childhood... and the one used by those who hunted for those like Sh'sei and I. But apparently it's an important one to many."

Then, looking at him again. "Is it an important word to you as well, then?"

[Torr Po]

Then, looking at him again. "Is it an important word to you as well, then?"

He scoffs, "It was my upbringing, my childhood." He shakes his head, "I didn't choose the life of a monk, nor was I born into it. It was a place that took me in when I was very young. But I had to study, to learn, and I did. I learned of the Whills, I learned of the Force, the mythology of the celestials. Etc. etc. etc., and I never agreed with any of it."

He sighs, "The Force is the folly of scholars. Even now its nature remains as obscure to the ignorant, as it is to the most 'enlightened' sage. The Je'daii and the Sith are in equal measure idiot children fascinated by a kite on the breeze: Wholly ignorant of what keeps it aloft. Because all who set out to manipulate it end up losing themselves. And those who objectively study it are killed or enslaved by the former. Which..." he pauses respectfully, " it sounds like you are already acutely aware of."

"I notice threads. Links. Between people, plants, animals. What surrounds is. I see connections, and I understand... some of them. Learned to touch on them here and there, draw on them to keep focused when it seemed hard. Learned to find peace in them... and expand it."

He grins, "You actually see these connections? Or is this through your minds eye?"

She smiles, looking away as she seems to remember things. "I didn't think of that name much, before, though. It was mostly a word from my childhood... and the one used by those who hunted for those like Sh'sei and I. But apparently it's an important one to many."

"Ahh, but first I'd hear your story... if you'd care to share it?"

[Zimrzala Skalirz]

He scoffs, "It was my upbringing, my childhood." He shakes his head, "I didn't choose the life of a monk, nor was I born into it. It was a place that took me in when I was very young. But I had to study, to learn, and I did. I learned of the Whills, I learned of the Force, the mythology of the celestials. Etc. etc. etc., and I never agreed with any of it."

He sighs, "The Force is the folly of scholars. Even now its nature remains as obscure to the ignorant, as it is to the most 'enlightened' sage. The Je'daii and the Sith are in equal measure idiot children fascinated by a kite on the breeze: Wholly ignorant of what keeps it aloft. Because all who set out to manipulate it end up losing themselves. And those who objectively study it are killed or enslaved by the former. Which..." he pauses respectfully, " it sounds like you are already acutely aware of."

She hears Torr's words and nods, but doesn't really comment on it for now. If he feels through the 'connections', he'll see some uncertainty and some pain, but it's not clear what these amount to or where they come from.

He grins, "You actually see these connections? Or is this through your minds eye?"

(...)
"Ahh, but first I'd hear your story... if you'd care to share it?"

She smiles. "I... feel them, I guess? I've learned to not differentiate mind and body so much, so that's a bit of a tough question I suppose. I know they're there, especially when I focus - although I feel there is much more I should learn about them."

She shakes her head. "Or rather... not about them. It's not so much knowing... more acknowledging them.

His words about those who study the force may have something to do with her words, but he feels studying is not exactly how she approaches it all, at any rate.

"But... my story. Well, it's a bit of a complicated one, I suppose. I was born in Mikkia... I remember some of it and some stories of the Force and the Jedi from that time... but not that much. My dad got us out when I was 9... not long after the purge started, as I now know. I haven't seen him since, and I've been brought up in Bakura ever since. A nonhuman in a human world, or so I thought. I learned much about balance then... how it can be a source of truth and falsehood in equal measures. I saw friends live in poverty and have that called "maintaining balance". Saw mom get sick and have no access to medical assistance. Saw violence and power mongering treated as "natural balance"... and decided to go out and look for something different."

A peaceful smile grows on her lips.

"I finally did find that, after a fair bit of wandering. Among the actual natives of Bakura, the Kurtzen. I found another view of balance, and learned calm, respect and openness among a people unlike my own who adopted me. And I learned even more when I met a wandering H'kig monk... Sh'sei Sh'tari. He taught me much of what I know... but even more, he taught me how to teach myself. How to seek my own path. We had long discussions about what balance meant, what was right or not, how to know - or feel - what is or isn't a rightful path to oneself."

Her eyes are emotional for a moment, but the peace is soon back to her face.

"It was a very important time for me. But finding one's path cannot be done if one doesn't seek it, yeah?", she says with a grin. "We knew those who seek power might endanger our Kurtzen hosts, and we knew it was time to go. It took some work, but we got off-planet. This was... a bit over a year ago now. A year of seeking." She gestures around. "And now... I feel I've found a part of my path here. That's the short of it"

She looks at him, thoughtfully.

"You said you didn't agree with... all you learnt. Did that make you leave? And... if I may ask, what's it you seek now? Or... what do you agree with?"

[Torr Po]

She hears Torr's words and nods, but doesn't really comment on it for now. If he feels through the 'connections', he'll see some uncertainty and some pain, but it's not clear what these amount to or where they come from.

He listens with fascination. Unable to feel the pain and uncertainty, he does however see her wince.

I learned much about balance then... how it can be a source of truth and falsehood in equal measures.

He takes special note of that and smiles.

And I learned even more when I met a wandering H'kig monk...

His eyes are big as saucers at hearing that name and he thinks back to the chimes in the temple - recalling what little he could of their creed and the parallels he found in his own.

"It was a very important time for me. But finding one's path cannot be done if one doesn't seek it, yeah?", she says with a grin. "We knew those who seek power might endanger our Kurtzen hosts, and we knew it was time to go. It took some work, but we got off-planet. This was... a bit over a year ago now. A year of seeking." She gestures around. "And now... I feel I've found a part of my path here. That's the short of it"

She looks at him, thoughtfully.

"You said you didn't agree with... all you learnt. Did that make you leave? And... if I may ask, what's it you seek now? Or... what do you agree with?"

He ponders in silence for a time. His head resting pensively on his fingertips. At last he sits up and says, "I came from nothing, worship nothing, expect nothing, own nothing, and thus... nothing owns me. To put it simply," he smiles, "I did not leave because I didn't agree with them. I left because I was a teenager, and I thought I knew better than them." He shakes his head and chuckles, "I did not."

Her youth wasn't lost on him. He assumed that she might be in her mid 20's. But throughout their conversation he had begun to wonder if she was even younger. Her childhood was lost to war, his to isolation.

"You see we Farghul have an inherent desire to deceive. Not out of malevolence, usually. But more... mischievousness. Like that of a puppeteer, or a street magician. Like a story teller that adds embellishment with each retelling." He continues. "One of the core tenants of the monastery was to understand this desire. To... 'bring it into balance', as it were. Let's just say, that was why I left. Because I had a strained relationship with the truth."

"As for the Force. I believe that when you take away the mysticism, it is a perfectly natural and quantifiable part of our universe. Like gravity for instance." He gestures like an academic. "When you stretch out a piece of cloth and roll a marble it follows the attraction of the ground. But when you add weight, the marble reacts first to the weight and then the ground. We understand this relationship, we have formulae that quantify it. But in my simple monastery there were no books, no scrolls that spoke to the scientific nature of the Force. Only maddening riddles that aimed to help one... conceptualize it." He sighs, "Had it not burned I would have done my utmost to rectify this deficiency. But it did burn and I cannot..."

He regards her for a moment more, "You said, you 'learned much about balance: how it can be a source of truth and falsehood in equal measure.' Hmmm," she will pick up elation coming from him. And for the first time since their conversation had begun she will hear... Purring? "You see my- well, our philosophy had a well defined path that could lead one to becoming 'one with the force'. But it was an arduous one if you lacked conviction. What you said, would be a purrfect place to start. I could perhaps even try to fill some gaps in your knowledge with classical teachings."

Sometimes in helping others we help ourselves. Someone said to him once.

"Perhaps you might indulge me in some guided meditation?"